So my original blog muse reminded me today that I had not blogged in a while and I didn't realize anyone was reading so it was nice to be reminded! I told her that I had avoided it because I didn't want my next post to be a landslide of the emotions I've felt lately. Immediately I realized that this was my original purpose - to heal myself and deal with my crazy mixed up emotions! Fortunately, the push I needed to get me back on here was a positive one so hopefully this won't be as depressing as expected.
People keep telling me that things are going to change and they have to get better soon..because they can't get much worse. I found out yesterday that the last local job I had on the table had been filled and I never even got a call or interview. I really had high hopes for this one as I had a personal recommendation from a principal in the same district that thought I would be perfect for the job as well as other great connections to the district and principal. With all of these referrals..I didn't even get a call. Crushed!
Following my incredibly inspiring Independence Day was an awesomely productive week including carpet cleaning of both my and B's apartments, organizing, purging and cleaning (and a few good hikes with Lucy and Rhino). Then..he came home. The feelings came rushing back and I felt back at square one. (but at least everything is clean now :) So he's back, I'm struggling, then this..this rejection..again. I feel like this is my cue to move on, but where? Where to even begin looking when I don't feel like I have anyone anywhere..or really a place I am drawn to. (other than here) So down, down I go, back into the empty darkness.
Until..a sweet pick-me-up conversation with a smile-on-demand from a distant friend reminding me she'll always be there even though she is not here! Then..beginnings of plans to visit another friend in the big city which promises ridiculous laughter and shenanigans. Plus..the addition of another long-lost friend whom I invited to play in Denver and realized in the planning that it will be his birthday as well.
VERY BIG RIDICULOUS CHALLENGE in the works for these two special folks!
In the meantime and while planning activities for the weekend, I came across a recent post on one of my favorite blogs and it picked me up a little. Just under two years from the big 3-0, I really appreciated the sincerity and simple joy of this post called 30 Things for 30 Years. I think I shall come up with my own list!
(It was this decision that brought me out of todays funk and got me excited to write this post!)
So..always a teacher (at least I think I still am..) there will be a chalk-talk on my wall to think out this list and I will share it soon. Some ideas will obviously be stolen from Joy's post because they are what inspired me in the first place.
To be continued...but I hope this wasn't as painful as I thought it would be..it certainly made me feel a little better.
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